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sacral warrior...notes from the field

Scared Blind

I had the stye from hell. It was so big and annoying. It wouldn’t go away. I had it for a whole month and now it’s finally diminished enough to say it’s healed up. My eyelid was so swollen I could hardly see for a couple days. The eye doctor said I might have to have surgery to have it removed. I said no way, I’m going to heal it myself!

I asked myself all kinds of questions “What does this mean?”  “What does it represent?”  “What am I not willing to see?”


I don’t know that I ever really knew what it meant, but I do know this: it came up after a long bout of losing track of my vision for my business and what I wanted to create. Actually, I had a vision last summer of something that made my heart sing. I knew it was my Inner Voice calling me forth…but I shut it down pretty quickly and told myself I couldn’t have it. I told myself maybe someday, but not now. It can’t happen now…

I had all these qualifiers on my vision. I had all sorts of conditions, if then’s, and other perfectly reasonable reasons why it just wouldn’t fly.

My resistance was palpable. My fear was so overwhelming I’d go numb.

I learned a lot from that stye. It sure had me slow down and focus on self-care and what it means to be able to see (not just physically, but mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.)

About the time my eye started burning and swelling, the vision I had last summer, (actually it’s a dream I’ve had since 1998), started coming back and was burning to be seen. Literally.

I was excited. And scared. And excited. And scared….and excited!

My body really couldn’t tell the difference, it feels excitement and scared the same way, but those little voices were having a heyday, and they just kept feeding the fear more and more.

Of course they would!

This was a vision from my heart, my soul, my Inner Voice. Those little buggers would go to any lengths to shut that vision down!

Even affect my eyesight.

In my book, Life Well Spoken, Free Your Inner Voice & Prosper, I write that the first aspect that we align with in regards to our Inner VOICE is V: Vision.

Vision has a couple meanings when it comes to our Inner Voice. It has to do, of course, with our BIG VISION. The one we get from our heart & soul.

It’s our purpose. Our desire. It’s God wanting to express through us, as us.

It also has to do with how we see ourselves relative to that vision. And that is where the little voices often come in and blind us to what’s possible, and to how we are uniquely created to live out our soul’s vision.

It’s time to see yourself as God sees you
so you can live the vision Spirit is calling you to live.

The irony is that the very thing that shut my big vision down (hurry-worry which leads to poor self-care and a depleted immune system, and the little voices trying to scare me blind) was the very thing that helped me see my Inner Voice vision more clearly than ever.

I had to slow down. Really get quiet. Pay attention to my body, mind, emotions, spirit, and energy. I had to focus on what I want to create vs the obstacles blocking my view. I had to come back to my Inner Voice over and over again.

It’s a choice.

A choice that was really challenging for me to hold strong, especially when the fear got intense. “You mean I actually get to live my dream?!…..For real?!”


Like a bottle of well-shaken soda, all the qualifiers, conditions and reasonable reasons came fizzing and spewing up, and exploded right in my eye.

And I listened. I blessed them, released them, and made a tangible vision board (you can see it above) so I could see it everyday and remind myself what I’m creating:

A lifestyle business aligned with my Inner Voice.

My mission and purpose is to help others live and express their BIG VISION and live life with clarity, courage, and conviction through creating their life and work in alignment with their Inner Voice. I do that through living and playing and BEING my Inner Voice expressed. It’s how my clients succeed as well.

Holding strong to your vision and acting as if when the vision hasn’t yet come to pass is the hardest part.

And when your blind…it’s really hard to see where you’re going long enough to get there.

Check out the support you have available here. I’ve removed the blinders – so can you.




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