I recently read the following letter in an email of a well-known (and incredible) coach – David Neagle. I thought his answer was great AND I had a different perspective in the answer. You can read David’s response in the link below…
I recently spoke in front of a group of about 100 of my ideal clients. I thought my presentation was well done, and many people told me as such. My problem is this: No one claimed my free offer that I made from stage and I can’t figure out where I went wrong. I ended up leaving without a single interested prospect.
Can you give some advice about what I may be missing here?
Before you check out David’s response below, I’d like to give my take on the subject. I think there is something that is often overlooked in speaking: Energy.
The speaker’s energy, the energy of the room, the energy of the crowd…all of it factors in. Most of that we don’t have control over, but we do have control over our own energy, and that has a lot to do with our thoughts, beliefs and the way we embody our talk.
I wrote a program a couple years ago called 9-Aligned: What to Tweak Before You Speak. It is full of my favorite techniques and insights into the “back-end” of speaking. Today, I thought I’d pull it out of the vault (at least part of it) and share with you about energy and a few energy techniques you can use whether you’re speaking to 1 or 100 people. Enjoy! And if you’d like more information about the program email me-I’m revamping it right now and updating the look with my current branding and adding more information about Human Design Types in there too! Here’s the original version:
Get your energy ‘on’ before you get up there to speak, so you can set the vibe of the room, not the other way around. Why is it important to manage the energy you bring to anything you do—and especially to your communication and conversations with others? Because the intention and emotion behind what you say, think and feel, is what creates the world around you. And when you are able to manage your energy, you will have cleaner and clearer communication both inside your head and with the world around you. You’ll have an easier time manifesting what you intend and want to experience than if you are cluttered energetically and creating confusion with your thinking and your speaking.
As a person who is highly intuitive, sensitive and empathic it can be very overwhelming for me to be in a large crowd, let alone speaking in front of one! I’ve had to learn how to both be present in my body and detached somewhat so that I can keep from being overwhelmed by all the energy coming at me. What I’ve learned is that as an introvert I get my energy from being alone whereas an extrovert gets an energy boost from being with others. While I do feel energized while speaking, I also need more alone time to recover afterwards. The energy techniques I’ll be teaching you help both before and afterwards–whether you’re an introvert or extrovert!
Most speaking coaches say to pump up your energy before a talk so you can be energized and ready to influence the room and uplift everyone else’s energy. I encourage you to do this, especially if you are talking to a pretty ‘dead’ crowd, like after lunch or during that 3pm lull in attention. Be willing to try different things and see what works best for you. Some people are so energized that they need to tone it down a little to more match the vibe of the room, and then lead the audience from there.
For me, it’s essential that I get grounded and make sure my energy is flowing and coherent. That way I know at the very least, my audience will not be affected adversely and miss a critical piece of information because my energy scrambled theirs, just by being on stage and speaking. Getting grounded also really helps you to remember what you want to say.
Depending on the energy of a room (or the Feng Shui of the room), you may find yourself becoming ungrounded quickly, or have your polarity thrown off. This can feel very disorienting and the techniques I’m going to show you will help with that.
There’s another big thing that can throw our energy off as well. One of the things I demonstrate when I speak is how our emotions and thoughts affect our energy systems. I also demonstrate how our energy affects other people and vice versa.
During a talk I gave, just before (literally 2 minutes before I was to go on stage) a good friend of mine showed up. She was obviously upset as she had just seen her ex who is someone with whom she experiences a lot of conflict. I gave her a hug and sent her to the bathroom to collect herself and told her to come in when she was ready. I had already done my energy hygiene and so I was pretty solid despite the intensity of her emotion. I gave myself an extra tapping on the collarbone points and another zip-up and got on stage (you’ll learn these techniques in the recording). About 5 minutes into the talk, my friend entered the room and went to the only available seat in the front row. As she passed right by me (I was in the middle of talking), I literally felt the energy she was experiencing and it was heavy and thick! I actually lost my thought for just a brief moment as she walked past, and then quickly regained my composure and kept going. Nobody noticed, it happened so fast. But for me it was like being hit with a wave. I really got in that moment just how profound these exercises are. They are as powerful as they are simple.
Because I took the time to contain and manage my own energy I was able to discern what was mine, what was hers and regain my composure in an instant and keep going. As a speaker, this is huge. Especially if the topic you are sharing brings up strong emotions in the audience! (You’ll see this a lot in sales conversations and when it comes time to make an offer from the stage). You need to be able to stay solid in yourself, in who you are so you can guide the person who is emotional through the quagmire by standing on solid ground yourself, without processing it for them. The best way I’ve found to do this, or at least set myself up for success, is to work with my energy first, and my thoughts and fears second. Shifting the energy almost always shifts the thoughts and emotions very quickly, and there isn’t much processing to do after that.
Manage Your own Energy: The Techniques Explained:
The following tools are a combination of energy medicine techniques as taught by Donna Eden along with exercises from Energy Psychology that correct “psychological reversals” (which is a fancy term for unscrambling your energy and making it flow more coherently). Why is this important? When Our energy is “on” and coherent, we can think more clearly, hear our inner guidance more easily, we are more relaxed and less ruffled by the words and actions of others, it makes us more calm and receptive as well as ready to respond effectively and efficiently.
Another huge reason is that we affect each other’s energy, so when we are “on”, we help others around us to be “on” too. (When we are off, we throw others off too–unless they are practicing these techniques! Conversely, when we are around people who are negative or “scrambled”, as I mentioned in the other recording, we can be affected by them.
When you are speaking and holding the space in the room, with a client, or even during the sale, you need to stay clear, present and grounded, these tools do just that.
These techniques should take less than 5 minutes to do. I recommend doing them every day (they have a cumulative effect), and especially when you are feeling “off” or before you are going to speak, present, sell or even have a heart to heart with someone in your life. Most of them can be done in the car…
Two quick techniques I love are “Hooking Up”* and “Zipping Up”*, but first I recommend hitting what I call the “Reset Buttons”, by gently tapping two points just under the collarbone:
Reset Buttons: Helps reset polarity, primes system for other energy work. Tap K-27 points just under the collarbone, below the inner end points of the collarbones where a man knots his tie. These points are about 1⁄2 inch below the collarbone and 1 inch out towards the shoulder. It is a small indentation and may be tender to the touch. If you tap with 3-4 fingers of each hand on each of the points (at the same time), you’ll likely hit the right spot.
Hook up: To get back ‘online’, it’s like plugging in your main circuits and affects all the chakras and meridians. Place the middle finger of one hand in your navel (belly button), and the middle finger of your other hand on third eye spot on the forehead just above and between the eyebrows. If you can’t stand your finger in your navel, then place your palm over your navel and other palm over third eye. Do what works for you.
Hold these two spots and gently pull upwards with both fingers so that your skin moves slightly up toward the top of your head. Relax your shoulders, breathe, and hold for about 30 seconds to a minute. You may yawn, sigh, or notice a deep relaxation and sense of calm throughout your body. You may notice clearer thinking and ability to be present here and now. You may not notice a darn thing —all are OK. Just know it’s working.
Zip-up: For protection, and to avoid taking on other people’s emotions, thoughts, energies, etc. Take fingers or open palm of one hand and hold about 2-3 inches off the body, starting at the pubic bone area. Slowly draw your hand up to your chin as if you were zipping up a coat with a tall collar. Stop at the cleft of the chin just underneath the lips. Repeat 3 times. After last time, make a figure 8 with your fingers over your chin to lock it in place.
These are just a few of the techniques I share in the 9-Aligned program. I also share how to ground the room and other things to consider when planning and practicing your talks, or sharing your product or service with others.
Email me for more info. The webpage is under construction and since this was on my mind right now, I decided to share it without having everything dialed in and ready. Imagine that… 😉
From My Heart To Yours,
Read David’s response here.