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sacral warrior...notes from the field

I’d Rather Sleep At The Airport

Traveling always offers opportunity to listen to your intuition, and for me this latest trip was no different.

Bottom-line lessons learned on this trip:

  • Free is rarely a good deal-if you value quality.
  • If you find yourself worrying what others will think, rationalizing, justifying, going numb or dissociating just to be able to tolerate whatever it is that your intuition is screaming at you to pay attention to, then those are all clear indications you are in for a big-ass 2X4 upside the head and you better watch out.
  • While it really helps to know exactly how your intuition speaks to you, what’s even more valuable is knowing exactly why and how you ignore it, and that it’s never too late to start acting on your intuitive hits RIGHT NOW.
  • Finally, never miss your plane if you can at all help it. Especially in Atlanta.

How I learned those lessons:

Airport Terminal Sign Check InOn the last leg of my trip I missed my evening flight from Atlanta to Myrtle Beach, SC and Delta Airlines was ‘kind’ enough to extend a voucher for a local hotel for the night until the next flight out at 9:00am. When I saw that they had contracted a room price of $55 I instantly knew this was not going to be anything fancy, but it was 10pm, I had been up since 4am and was just wanting to lay down and be fresh for the video shoot I had scheduled the next day. So, with a little twinge of apprehension, I headed toward the shuttle bus loading area to get to the hotel. I saw shuttle buses for nicer hotels, I had the thought ‘screw the voucher, get a nice room for the night’-but I was given a ‘free’ voucher, “isn’t that worth something?” my little ego voices whispered…

First on on the bus means last one off, so I was last in line to check in. I had 40 minutes to stand there and examine the surroundings and get more and more agitated. Forty minutes to have my gut do flip-flops and my hackles raise, to feel judgmental and to wonder if I should turn around and get back on the shuttle when it was headed back to the airport for another pick-up. A tap-tapping on my shoulder saying, “listen…listen…” and I ignored it.

My mind wrestled with my intuition. I watched one mental override after another. I asked all my favorite questions: What else is possible? What’s right about this that I’m not getting? (Of course we aren’t supposed to necessarily answer those questions, just put them out there so our mind can work on them and bring us a new experience. My mind was having a field day, because as soon as I would get some clarity or awareness of what I really needed to do to create a new possibility for myself it would come in with the big guns of rationalizing, justifying, and dissociating-why? Because I kept IGNORING my intuition. (Hey, it happens to the best of us…)

As I wrestled mentally, a man walked up to the entrance behind me, big guy, big energy. One of those guys who says what he’s thinking without editing. He was talking on his cell phone, I heard him say (well, we all did…) “Man, this hotel look [sic] like the projects!” It was a little bigger slap upside my head. I looked at the front desk and area again, I nodded internally, it did look like the projects. I shifted uncomfortably and thought, ‘I’m here, it’s almost 11pm, I’ll just get a room, it will be too inconvenient to leave now, plus the driver had already left to head back to the airport.’

I paid for my room. I asked if it was non-smoking. “Yes.” OK. How bad could it be?

Holy Mary, Mother of God. ‘I am not safe here‘ I thought as I looked around the building. Kept walking. Another thought: ‘When was this place last cleaned?’ (let alone updated). Kept walking.

[I know what you’re thinking…don’t you help people with their intuition? Yeah. Don’t you help people with why they don’t listen to their intuition? Um, yes. What the hell are you doing?!? I had that same thought myself dear reader: ‘Why am I here still?!’]

Sweating in the Atlanta heat and feeling exhausted and apprehensive, I opened the door to my room and stepped one foot into a room that smelled like the back room of a smoky bar in my college days. I heard myself say: “Oh Hell No. I’d rather sleep sitting up at the crowded airport!”

That’s when I got pissed off. I woke up. I snapped to, I snapped out of the fog.

I was pissed off at myself-I didn’t listen! Pissed off that I had wasted all this time and energy getting a room that was so disgusting there was no way I would sit on the bed let alone sleep in it. Pissed off that I had invested thousands of dollars to fly across the country to work with someone who is amazing at their craft and let my justifying, rationalizing pea-brained little voices talk me out of valuing myself, my needs, my comfort and showing up at my best to serve people at a high level. Pissed off that I had numbed out, and just turned off my senses so I could stand there and actually give them my money knowing full well this was the worst decision I could possibly make. Pissed off that I cared more about what other people might think about me-that they think I was a snob, or “too good for them” if I walked out and didn’t shuffle along like the rest of the half-asleep people in my shuttle-bus group.

Did the rest of this group even see what I was seeing?!

That one guy did. The loud guy. He was there when I decisively cut in line (the next group of folks had just gotten off the shuttle and were waiting in line for a room) and demanded my money back. He asked me: “Is it that bad?”

“Yes.”

He looked like he considered pulling out of the transaction, but didn’t (probably scared of what people would really think if he actually put action behind his words (Hey brother – I get it…been there. Done with that.)

Prepared to pay the shuttle driver handsomely for taking me to a nicer hotel vs back to the airport, I simply asked if there was a Marriot or something like it near the airport. He took me straight there, no questions asked, and I tipped him well.

The hotel was lovely, even though it wasn’t luxury, it was clean, well-cared for, smelled good and was decorated in a style that felt like a spa. I slept well, and awoke refreshed and ready to finish flying to make some videos. I felt grounded. I felt cared for. I felt valued, and I felt in alignment. I felt that way because I chose to treat myself that way. No one else there to ask permission, no one else there to please, consider or consult with. Just me and my Inner Voice and choice.

I think all that came through in my videos I made for you (watch for them in September!) and it was worth every penny I spent on that nicer hotel – I would have paid double that night…and what’s really cool? I didn’t have to sleep in the airport.

Kris-FilmingWhat’s right about that whole situation? I discerned yet another way that my little voices subvert my intuition. I took my health & safety and money into my own hands and proved to myself I am valuable, worth it, and so are you. I wanted to show up as my best self for you, my readers and dearest clients, and I did that! I learned how to support you all even more, by learning what gets triggered when we up our game and decide to be more visible. That happens no matter who we are, or where we are, in our business or personal life.

Usually we don’t need 2X4’s in order to wake up, but just in case you feel one coming on, you’ll be fine if you simply remember: it’s never too late to start acting on your intuitive hits RIGHT NOW.

From My Heart To Yours,
Kris

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