Contrary to popular objection, it’s not your spouse you have to convince of your dreams, your value, or your intentions to invest in yourself or your business.
I totally get it. I’ve been there. We come up with all kinds of crazy s$%* to avoid saying yes (or even a solid no!) when an opportunity crosses our path that could radically transform the course of our life and or our business.
Here’s the scenario: You get a hit, and intuition, that working with someone is exactly what you need to do as the next step in your business. You check them out. You read their website, ‘cyberstalk’ them on Facebook reading their posts and responses. Trying to find some reason to disqualify them in your mind. (Really it’s those little egoic voices at work saying “Oh crap! If she decides to work with this person, we are done for! We’ll have to be quiet and let her get her genius out in the world! We cannot let that happen! It’s not safe! What if she screws up? What if she looks bad? What if she’s wrong? She’ll be rejected! Abort! Abort! Abort!!!”).
You know what I’m talking about. (if you don’t, you need not read the rest of this post. Go look at pretty pictures on Pinterest or something because your little voices are freaking out right now and you won’t be able to read on…unless of course, you want to change this pattern…)
Freeing your Inner Voice is the key to quieting those little voices. You have GOT to find that place in yourself that is the deep inner knowing of your Truth, value and purpose. If you don’t have that, you won’t be able to make the bigger decisions required of you to step into becoming the thought leader you were meant to be. What’s the first step in getting that deep inner knowing? Trusting your initial hit, and going with it based on faith.
Say “YES!” to opportunity when it knocks. It’s that frickin’ simple.
You were probably thinking it’s meditate for days on it. Ask 10 friends for their input. Ask your spouse for permission. Check the stars and planets. Talk to 3 other people who do the same (or similar) work to see if they cost less. Put off deciding until after some arbitrary date (holidays, anniversaries, dog’s graduation from obedience school, kids out of diapers, and the ever dooming big one: when I’m ready.)
I got news for you. You will never be fully ready. The only way to get ready is to keep stepping in the direction of your goal, vision or dream. You get ready while on the journey, not before it starts!
Twelve years ago, my husband (then boyfriend) and I saved our money, quit our jobs, rented our house, sold his car, and hiked the Pacific Crest Trail. We prepared for months. We would run almost everyday after work to build up our muscles and strength for hiking approx. 20 miles everyday for 4 months. When we began, we were fit and ready to roll. The first day we hiked 13 miles with heavy packs. My feet hurt so bad. My legs felt weak. I was exhausted. All that running ahead of time? Didn’t make a difference.
We got our hiking legs from hiking, not from jogging, preparing, or reading books about it.
I’ve done all those things I mentioned above in order to avoid following my Inner Voice and initial intuitive hit. I’ve spent thousands of dollars paying for services that I didn’t really want or appreciate because my heart was elsewhere. My heart had decided long before my head, and it took awhile for my head to catch up. I blamed my husband. I blamed my finances. I blamed a lot of things. What it really came down to was this:
I didn’t yet buy my own vision. I didn’t yet believe in the spark of genius I (and others!) kept seeing and feeling inside me. I kept ignoring the calling forward of my Inner Voice. It scared the bejeezus out of me! (I now know, it wasn’t me that was scared, it was the little voices that were scared…)
I was my toughest sale.
When you finally believe in you and what you’re offering, you will be able to enroll others into that vision—including your spouse. The ones that get it? They’ll work with you. The ones that it’s not a good fit? It will be clear to both of you, and it won’t feel like rejection at all-because you’ll get that it never was.
Whenever we fear rejection, the only one rejecting us is us. Period.
The only way to begin valuing yourself and believing in yourself is to take action that is completely in the face of your fears and how you typically do things. The only way out of the hole is to decide you want out. That’s the first decision you have to make. Then, because the Universe so graciously offers a response to our decision, when someone reaches down and says “I see you. I believe in you. I will believe for you until you get it for yourself. AND I have the skills and tools to help you once you get out of the hole to help keep you from going back into the hole” And your intuition says, “this is what I’m looking for, and is the next step in my journey“, then for God’s sake, say Yes.
You will not recognize yourself on the other side of yes, because you will have already demonstrated your belief-and that changes a person instantly.
The transformation is in the sale, not on the other side.
Don’t spend time thinking about that last statement. I guarantee you it won’t make a lick of sense until you experience it.
Kinda like hiking…