Life & Business Coaching by Design: What’s your unique genius? Let’s find out… 

sacral warrior...notes from the field

Why you can’t decide, and what to do about it.

Decisions. Decisions. So many decisions.

Wouldn’t it be great to know how to decide and just take action then move on? To take action without second-guessing yourself or wondering what if??

You can.

You CAN trust yourself. Today I’m going to tell you how.

First you must learn how to make decisions.

Second you must know why the heck it’s not so cut & dry and easy all the time.

Third you must ultimately make a decision to trust yourself, no matter what (even if you make a “mistake” because that’s how you’ll learn your decision-making language).

Let’s look at the steps one by one below.

1) Very briefly, Human Design describes six “Authorities” or decision-making styles (and ways of accessing personal spiritual truth) based on what energy centers a person has defined in his or her Human Design chart:

  1. Emotional Authority: A person may or may not get a “gut-feeling” or “intuitive hit” to explore something further. No matter what, a person with this inner authority style needs to get emotional clarity first before taking action. This can take moments, hours, days, or even months to do. This comes from the solar plexus.
  2. Sacral Authority: The classic gut-response. Energetic information comes in, and the “gut” either opens up in response to it with an “uh-huh”(yes), or an “uh-uh” (no), or even no response or neutral response. It’s felt low in the belly.
  3. Splenic Authority: Instantaneous, intuitive, and instinctual “knowing” whether or not something is harmonious with us. This authority is not so much “felt” anywhere, as it is simply “knowing” instantaneously. For example, something “sounds” good/bad, or “smells” good/bad.
  4. Heart Authority: This too, is an instantaneous “knowing” if something is in alignment with a person, but it is not based so much on a response to something as it is based on “This is what I want, desire, or value and I’m going for it.” It’s truly following the will of the heart and what a person wants.
  5. Self Authority: A person’s truth is held gently in the center of his or her chest, waiting to be invited to act. When the person is invited to participate in something or with someone, she will often experience this as an opening or expansion in her chest toward the opportunity or person offering the invitation if it’s in alignment with her truth; if it’s not, no expansion.
  6. Outer Authority: This one is the rarest of all. These people need to ask the most questions and get the most clarity through seeking information and feedback outside of themselves. They need lots of time and space to explore all possibilities before committing to something.

Most people fall into the first three authorities, which is why we tend to think of intuition as we do, as a feeling of emotional clarity, a felt sense of being drawn toward something or repelled by it, or just “knowing” something instantaneously. People with heart, self, and outer authorities are all more rare, generally speaking. (To learn your about your design and/or have a reading click here for more info).

2) As soon as “knowing” comes up, the little voices start clamoring for your attention. This is to be expected. The two big little voices that most often derail a good decision?

Guilt and Fear

Guilt shows up like this: “If I say yes to this then they’ll be unhappy; if I say no to them, they won’t like it-I’ll try to say yes and no at the same time and somehow make it all work out.” (Does it ever all work out?? Um, No.)

OR You say yes to something that will stretch you and help you get closer to your goal, but it costs more than you thought, or you’ll have to change plans (and others won’t like it) and so instead of following through, you “do the waffle” and spend a lot of precious time spinning your wheels instead of just communicating clearly and enrolling everyone in the vision. (This one has been the toughest one for me personally with a business and family!)

Fear is even sneakier. It can have you regressing, reaching for your old bad habits as a way to soothe yourself. It can have you “puddling” on the floor, unable to move or take the action you know you need to take. It’s brilliant at rationalizing how all the ways whatever your Inner Voice has guided you to do is WRONG or BAD or never going to work out. It can bring on sudden illness or accidents as a way to justify not moving forward.

Here is where most people stop.

They listen to the voices of guilt & fear. They believe them.

They forget and doubt & question their Inner Voice.

They lose faith.

This is my favorite quote when I get in that place (‘cause it happens to all of us!):

“Out of nothing and no way, a way will be made.” ~Michael Bernard Beckwith

Discerning when guilt & fear have just kicked in is a powerful step in reclaiming your ability to trust yourself and honor your personal authority.

Know this: the bigger the decision, the bigger the fear, guilt, and other little voice rants that happen. It happens to all of us-no matter how much money, resources, time, etc. we have.

3) You must decide that all your decisions are ultimately the right ones. This takes trust and faith and a willingness to “screw up” (because you’ll often find that the “screw-ups” turn out positive, even if it’s just to validate what you knew you “should have done” in the first place!)

There is always some grace in every decision we make because we cannot know all the pieces and players and potential outcomes. We aren’t supposed to.

Go ahead, trust yourself. When those little voices come up and try to derail or confuse you, acknowledge them and immediately go back to your moment of clarity then take some action right away that flies in the face of those little voices. This is how you learn to believe your Inner Voice and take another step closer to your goal.

You can do this.

and it does get easier…

From My Heart to Yours,


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