A few months ago I was in Seattle speaking to a group of parents. It was the morning after my talk, and I was acutely aware of how much reassurance we sometimes need as parents that we are not alone, that we are doing the best we can, that we are going to be fine-and (hopefully) our kids will too.
As I stepped out of the elevator at the hotel and made my way to the front desk to check out I heard a young child screaming bloody
murder. My nerves immediately stood on edge and were charged up by the howls of unhappiness. I turned the corner into the lobby to see two women and a young child, not more than 18 months old. One of the women was holding the toddler on her lap, she was older (grandma I figured) and she was telling the child “no!” to get her to stop crying. I could tell she was uncomfortable with the racket the child was making, (seriously, she sounded like she was being tortured). It was that loud and disturbing.
I had 2 thoughts: “Clearly that is not working lady, stop saying ‘No!’ and soothe her”, and “Your fear of what people will think is transmitting to this child.” The other woman was talking with the bellhop, arranging a ride. (I was experiencing both radical compassion for these 3 and I was obviously judging at the same time-I’m sure on some level she picked that up as well, even if she wasn’t consciously aware of it.)
What happened next reminded me of the power of energetic communication and grounding in the face of chaos & mess…
As I took in the scene even more I noticed the two women were caucasian, the child Chinese, a little girl. I thought of my daughter’s best friend, a young girl from China adopted by American parents. I felt an instant connection through my daughter’s friend, I wondered what her parent’s journey had been like to get their daughter here.
As I was finishing up with the gal at the counter my Inner Voice said: “ground.”
Calm my own nerves.
Send love and acceptance to this trio, to everyone in this lobby.
The younger of the two women (who was in her 40’s) had picked up the child and was holding her, soothing and calming her down. The baby was racked with those gasping choking sobs that come with a really hard cry.
She approached the desk and even though I wasn’t fully done with the desk clerk, I instinctively turned to the mom, touched her arm and said,
“Oh, mama. It’s OK. hang in there.”
Tears welled up in her eyes and her relief was like a heavy blanket being thrown off after a fever has broken. She looked at me and said “We are on hour 22 of a 24-hour trip from China to bring her home, and we are still not there yet.” I looked to the babe and spoke softly to her, “Welcome little one, we’re glad you’re here. It’s been a long trip for you, no wonder you are unhappy and tired!” She looked at me, wide eyed. Calm. Like she knew what I was saying.
Energetically she knew.
I talked soothingly to both the new mom and the babe and they both just settled into their bodies as if they had finally just landed from their long flight. The gal behind the counter was visibly moved and calmer too. I didn’t know where this was coming from, obviously my heart, but it felt like a bigger energy – a transmission that was through me – I didn’t fight it.
I looked beyond mom’s shoulder and Grandma looked relieved as well. She smiled.
In the past (before kids) I would have made a joke, or snarky comment about the noise to the hotel clerk. I would have joined in the discomfort exuding from her and bellhop because it was comfortable to be there vs. connecting deeply with a complete stranger.
I would have felt embarrassed to reach out and make contact with this woman, fearful of what the hotel clerk or others in the lobby would think of me. I didn’t care any more. I have connected with my Inner Voice so many times that even when I start out fearful and judging, I can hear my heart & soul coming through loud and clear.
Those old fears of what people would think of me were nothing in the face of this momentous occasion: a soul in a little body traveled very far, was confused and I’m sure disoriented, so many new things and people, and her new mom was disoriented as well.
We do the best we can. Sometimes in those disoriented, blotto, messy moments all we can say is “no!” or drop an f-bomb or two, like that will turn it off or make it go away. I knew they needed love more than anything. I felt it easily grow within me-as soon as I got out of the way.
Grace stepped in and used me, because I asked her to. I allowed her to.
I chose to move from #scared2sacred.
One little tweak, one small shift, a transposition of your internal alphabet and you’re instantly tapped into the field.
Try it for yourself.