I was a right-brained girl in a left-brained world
and I did everything I could to protect myself.
I got too good at it.
I’ve always been empathic, intuitive, and able to “read” people, environments, and situations quickly and accurately.
My first job out of grad school was at the University of Washington where I conducted extensive diagnostic interviews as part of a research study with women who met criteria for Borderline Personality Disorder. I had to be accurate and able to discern between Borderline and Bipolar, which have similar features, but energetically, and at their essence, are quite different.
I didn’t know how to describe what I was doing back then, but now I understand that I was not just gathering data about the women through the interview process, but I was “reading” their energy. I was intuiting through a combination of my clinical awareness, but mostly through my inner awareness, what was “wrong” with the person, and what criteria they met for the various disorders we assessed in the study.
I could explain logically my diagnoses, once I had finished the assessment – but it was this sensitivity and empathy that allowed me to really determine the essence of the person before me – and honestly, while they all experienced severe behavioral & emotional problems, I could see their True (healed and whole) spirit underneath all that.
Over the years, and especially with the birth of my two kids, these abilities have become even stronger and more well-honed.
Eventually, I chose to leave the world traditional therapy with the labels and diagnoses. I had a hard time with the labels-to me they limit a person, and didn’t explain what was really going on.
I turned to energy healing and the field of Energy Psychology, and while I still use these techniques myself and teach some of my clients techniques, ultimately I had to walk away from that being the sole foundation of my work too, because I found that I was still focusing on what’s “wrong” with people, vs. figuring out what’s “right” about them.
Most people in the world are not in need of a diagnosis, or analysis,
they are in need of understanding their own unique energetic make-up.
People need to understand that we communicate and affect one another energetically first and foremost – and how this very basic fact is what creates dissonance in the mind, body, and spirit and therefore creates disharmony in our relationships.
I never would have described myself as “sensitive” growing up…
I had heard of Highly Sensitive People or HSP (as described in Dr. Elaine Aron’s work) but chose not to explore what characteristics these folks shared because that was NOT ME. I was sure of it. I equated sensitive with “vulnerable” and I had experienced enough of that in my life managing my intuitive abilities and empathetic sensitivity in a world that told me it wasn’t OK to be that way.
Then I wrote my book, Life Well Spoken: Free Your Inner Voice & Prosper, and after the whole thing was done I found myself at a crossroads.
I could either keep going as I had been: trying to parent and push and force my way through life from detached, arms-length way, which was highly protective, but not very fulfilling or I could live true to my Human Design, and own my intuitive, sensitive Genius: not just as a parent helping my kids live their Genius too, but in my other relationships, in my work…everywhere.
Of course, along with our Genius come our challenges. They are the flip-side, or the lower-vibrational state, of our Genius. These are the things that most of us label and analyze and try to heal – to no avail.
I realized I had been spending most of my life trying to “fix” these challenges, and making myself wrong for them, instead of simply being aware of them and choosing to show up in my Genius instead.
I, like most everyone else on this planet, hadn’t learned HOW to make that choice.
There really isn’t anything wrong with us at the core: we are all just managing energy and communicating energetically. Some of us are more sensitive to this than others.
Sometimes we are communicating at a higher vibrational state (or our Natural Genius), sometimes at a lower vibrational state (our design challenges).
As a highly sensitive person I had spent my whole life managing exposure, managing other people and their energy, and managing my environment so I could stay safe – because I was way to vulnerable and energetically sensitive.
I always felt like something was “wrong” with me,
but the more I tried to “fix” it, the worse it would seem to get.
At some point, I had to change the conversation within myself. I had to learn to discern between the little voices in my head of fear and doubt, shame & guilt, criticism & judgment, and instead listen to my Inner Voice: The voice of my intuition, the voice of Love in my heart & soul.
As I’ve changed the conversation within me, my conversations everywhere else have changed as well.
I stopped trying to “fix” myself. I tapped into not only my strengths, but also my “weaknesses.” I continually practice owning and sharing my natural genius and all the challenges that come with it.
Today I choose to allow myself to be vulnerable. Receptive. I allow myself to surrender the need to get it all “right” and have all the answers, and interestingly enough – the answers come easier. My intuition has gotten stronger. My psychic gifts have become more pronounced. I’ve learned to trust myself.
I have stopped letting fear and “exposure management” stifle my Love,
creativity, and passion for life.
I had been using these techniques and ideas that I created for myself for years as a therapist and as a coach & consultant to entrepreneurs. I keep honing the art of Energy Linguistics (a term that came to me in meditation). My business clients starting asking me about their own relationships and family interactions. They wanted to know how to apply these concepts of energy, communication, and Human Design to their personal relationships and conversations.
I started having visions in my meditations of kids who are energetically & emotionally sensitive coming to me, asking me to help their parents understand them better.
When I gave up the story that there is any such thing as a perfect parent, and I owned that being a mom is a big f*cking mess some days, I began to have the space to change the conversations between my head & my heart and between my kids and I.
I truly believe that underneath all behavior “problems”, communication breakdowns, and faulty beliefs that create self-sabotage, there is a simple and elegant Truth: It’s all energy.
Nothing is “wrong” with us, (even if we are a Divine Mess at times!) Labels or diagnoses don’t begin to truly describe the energetic imbalance that people experience and what we need more than anything is a new conversation about energy, communication, and what it means to be an energetic being in a physical body doing things like parenting and partnering, and leading, and running a business (among other things!).
We need to learn what we can do to help our kids learn to manage their own energy and emotions so they can be healthy, happy, and live their purpose fully with joy & ease.
We need to deepen our awareness of subtle energy, and how it flows through all things – including our relationships, our work, and the things we create.
I believe we can change the world, one conversation at a time, by speaking from our Inner Voice (Natural Genius) vs. our little voices (natural challenges).
Will you join me in this new dialogue? You can do that here…
From My Heart to Yours,